Greetings, dwellers of Earth. I am Princess Prattle from Planet Mugwump.
I have come to conquer your planet.That is, I intended to conquer your planet.
It was tough trying to conquer your planet..
…..I failed at conquering your planet, okay?
I’ll explain why…
On my 300th birthday,
my father felt it was time for me to venture forth to other regions for exploration.
Since I’ve always wanted to own my own planet and entertain myself by playing with it’s inhabitants, father felt that your planet Earth was more than adequate to satisfy my needs.
So, in my space amphibian I went….
The trip took so long, I fell asleep — crash landing on what I thought to be Earth.
Checking the console, it read that I wasn’t on your planet at all, but rather a vast wasteland called
I also checked my hair and makeup because after all, I am Princess Prattle and the inhabitants of this land will fall to their kneels and worship my every step.
Oh and by the way, don’t make fun of my ears. The lighter color is a family trait.
As I exited my disabled vehicle, I was greeted by a strange and furry creature.
Oddly, I understood as he introduced himself as Bloodclaw — the leader of The Fourth Era.
Doesn’t he know I am Princess Prattle and all soil I bless with my presence belongs to me?
I attempted to bonk him over the head with my staff, but he warded off my attack with the simple waving of his hand.
Well, this just outright displeased me. And besides his inexcusable insubordination….
…he was checking out my boobies!
How dare he! Doesn’t he know who I am? I am Princess Prat…
I’m Princess Pra
…who the hell am I?!
Bloodclaw assured me that my memory loss was more than likely caused by the vehicle’s crash and would return shortly. In the meantime, he gave me a tour of his planet.
Everything futuristic you humans could possibly desire was there. Space craft, stations, portals and even something he called “Role Play”, all there.
He was so nice to me that perhaps, maybe, somehow, I can forgive him for staring at my meteors. After all,
He is kinda cute…
“Beyond the edge of the world there’s a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And, hovering about, there are signs no one has ever read, chords no one has ever heard.”
~ Haruki Murakami ~
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